K is for…

Kaleidoscope (and Knowledge)

Emotions, perception and interpersonal relationships shift and dance in ever unfurling, never repeated patterns. As one nears focus, another explodes as if a micro-universe playing out the life of its stars in a day. Though beautiful, can it be meaningful if it doesn’t endure or hold its shape? If wisdom is observed, noted, studied it might be said to exist. If it tumbles into a new form that is never gazed upon again it retains its mystery but loses its solidity.  If it stands still, it stops developing and creating but is petrified and sought to be ‘understood’ by humanity. The ultimate arrogance is that we can make pronouncements about life, the universe and everything when our individual time on the planet is so short and the relay race of the transmission of knowledge runs with no points of certainty and no hope of continuity.

Karma

Does this exist? Should we rely on it? Or is it a convenient way of commandeering coincidence to allow us to not dwell on injustice? If we can let go of the need for vengeance are we healthier or happier? Or just relieved that we don’t have to do our own dirty work. Of course I’d like to not wish ill on people who’ve let me down or upset me. Or would I? Maybe plotting their downfall or comeuppance is a guilty pleasure and imbuing the process with natural inevitability lets me off scot free.

Keel, even

Is steering a steady course through life enviable? Possible? If you never have to call all hands to the deck do you know whose support you have? I’ve spent a lot of my life avoiding risk and confrontation (largely as I lump them together). But as I summit ‘the hill’ and start the decline down the other side that physics dictates I’m wanting to do it kicking and screaming. Causing a fuss, pointing out the bumps in the road and dragging ’em all down with me. Well, I will do when I am ready and can do it with decorum. And the sailing metaphor? It might be faster to cut straight through the water like a knife but it looks more fun to tack here and there catching the breeze and living. And I am not sure I want to cut through life as fast as I can.

Keen

I was once nominated as ‘most keen’ in my university year. It may be true, I can be keen as mustard… to linger in the heart but end up inadvertently polluting the breath of humanity. To prove I was here… but instead I leave a luminescent stain that dulls, not illuminates its observers. I get ideas, sometimes even energy and revel in my genius. The urge to share this self-satisfaction comes from a desire to give my hopes a glimpse of attention but ‘sharing’ seems to cut others like a dagger in the back. Do my aims detract from anyone else? Not on purpose but I can’t control anybody else despite a sustained campaign. I don’t see allowing my wishes as mutually excluding others’ but my being excited about them apparently puts the wind up those people, the vast majority – those who do not get me.  So my keenness leaves me forging ahead alone cutting no swath whatsoever.

Kiss

I’ve often wondered what other species think of our mating rituals… flamingos, swans, spiders and even Japanese puffer fish have elegant and extravagant displays of courtship. Though to be pedantic kissing is part of mating rather than wooing, isn’t it an odd thing to do? Interlocking our most sensitive attributes may have some merit and getting lost in the experience can be exquisitely exhilarating because of this. But is our enthusiasm about another’s dentition? tongue control or freshness of breath? Moistness? Do these confer an evolutionary advantage? I imagine kissing is some kind of prototype for the sex act and helps get things ready. But why does it excite us so when it is, for me anyway, a rather disgusting concept? Some suggest it is a way to get close enough to ensure genetic compatibility, (which our ancestors used to do by sniffing each other according to BBC Earth) but I suspect our interpersonal biological sample sequencing equipment is less sensitive than it needs to be to make good choices. Fact is our conscious brains seem to have gotten involved so we layer in mystery, romance and synchronous world views and suddenly procreation decisions are harder, or more unwise.

Kitchen

My domain…where I prepare celebrations, nurture my loved ones, share with my friends, comfort myself and escape. The heart of the home? Gadgets and goo, sweet things and melty stew. It is just supposed to keep us moving – food is fuel. Though the way in which all of our senses contribute to dreaming up, sourcing, cooking and devouring a meal means it is an experience in itself.

Knowing

Can we know something that isn’t true? Can we know everything about anything? Is being comfortable with uncertainty healthier? Who is happier – a satisfied pig or a dissatisfied Socrates? It is more fun floating down the stream of life untethered by the chains of education? Or does that leave you more vulnerable to the prevailing wind of whatever myths and idols society is trumped by? I don’t know…

J is for…

 

Jail

Somewhere many people seem to think they end up in by accident. But the exact point at which being let down by society meets deciding that your needs are, overall, greater than those of the rest of humankind is difficult to pin down. What I find most terrifying is when the lifestyle that leads someone down this garden path is the one they aspired to before it became inevitable.

 

Jealousy

Is the label the ‘green eyed monster’ a misnomer?  When I’ve been cowed by it (and have been frequently) yes, it’s felt like an imploding rage. But one that burns away the oxygen of my self esteem. It’s a futile attempt to compare myself with someone with prominent attributes that obscure their frailties and naturally ends up highlighting mine. If it makes me a monster I am a pitiful one, neutralised rather than energised

Job

For some its a proxy for who you are, for others its an unnecessary drag but mostly people experience difficulty in finding one that they can make work for any amount of time. People hate them, but are hated if they don’t have one.  Society doesn’t function if we don’t have them but many of the things they require people to do (such as generate or consume stuff) are annihilating the natural world.

Jokes

Essential to manage the growing feeling that everything is hurtling toward the big crunch at the end of the universe with no consideration of the inconvenience and indignation it will cause. Everything is futile, everything will come to nothing so let’s grin and bear it. My final contribution to the game we are all playing might be the lighthearted musing ‘I needn’t have worried’ engraved on my headstone. ‘Cos if death is coming to us all it may as well not put us off enjoying the bits of life that stand some chance of being fun.

Junkie

A cutesy word for someone chancing it to see how much hedonism one person can actually take? Or the car crash in slow motion that explodes apart families and friends to reveal the masturbatory frantic self stimulation that is as excruciating to see as to come to recognise about yourself? Hmmmm.